And, They are Off….

5th grade and 1st grade. Where has the time gone!?!

Lou, my 6 year old, was so excited she couldn’t sleep on Monday night, after meeting her teacher. She got the teacher she wanted. What more could one little girl want? Coco, my 10 year old, was also ready. He got the teacher he wanted, too.  Once he found that out he said he was ready for school to start. They were both ready.  Perfect, wonderful, great….but, am I?

At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter if I am ready. What matters is that they are. What matters is they were all smiles. Perfectly excited. Ready for a new year to begin.

Coco, will be, “Big Man on Campus.” Lou will attend school for the entire school day, for the first time. She thinks eating at school is going to be amazing. Wait, the thought just occurred to me, does that mean she’s knocking the lunches I make!?  I know better. It’s not about me. It’s about her. Getting older. More mature.  Living life. Following in Coco’s footsteps. Which reminds me….

On Monday, she asked Coco, “Are 5th graders buddies to 1st graders?”  Coco responded, “No.”  She answered, “Awww…..I would have picked you to be mine.”  His response…..a smile.  Ear to ear. My response….tears in my eyes. Then, and now, as I type it. They truly do love one another. I consider this one of my greatest accomplishments. The way they love one another. Yet, I am getting off track….I know, yet again!!

The first day of school the teachers meet the kids on the blacktop, on the playground. Of course, 1st grade was on one side and 5th all the way on the other. Which left me with a dilemma. With which child do I stand and see off into the school?

My little one, Lou, who is headed off to all day school, for the first time, whom is crazy excited, and has always been the braver soul, even if she is almost 4 years younger than her brother.  The one who walked into line, and didn’t look back at me. Not once. She didn’t even say goodbye. I had to walk in line to give her a hug, a kiss, and say, “Bye, Lou.  Have a wonderful first day of 1st grade!”

Or, my big Coco, whom I won’t be able to watch walk into school next year. My last opportunity. The one whom, although this is his 6th year doing this, is the one who is still a little uncertain. The one who walked back to me, prior to getting in line, and gave me just one more hug and said, “I love you, Mom. See you after school.”

I picked Coco. The one with a little less confidence. The one whom I won’t be able to watch do this again. The one who looked for me as he walked into school. Yes, I picked the 5th grader!  Yet, as I walked away, from little Lou, my 1st grader, my baby, tears filled my eyes. My baby is headed to full time school. She’s ready. And excited. Where has the time gone!?

I’ve tried to fill my calendar, this week. As I type this, I am sitting at the mechanic shop, getting the oil changed in my car, and the tires rotated. After, I have more errands to run. The idea of 6 1/2 hours, everyday, to myself, isn’t as appealing as one might think. What exactly will I do with myself, everyday?  Don’t get me wrong, I feel very fortunate to be able to see Coco and Lou off to school, and pick them up again, every day. I also feel blessed to be able to be home should either, or both of them, need me on a sick day, or a vacation day from school.  I also feel lucky to have the opportunity to volunteer, at the school, quite often. Yet, between all of these things, what else will I find to fill my time and preoccupy me!  I guess time will tell….

I find myself sad. Missing them. Having a difficult time believing that summer break is already gone, and school has already begun. Yet, I am doing better than I had anticipated. And, honestly, it’s a relief.  I don’t wish to cry the day away when both of them walked away with smiles on their faces. I mean, come on, I am supposed to put the brave face on for them, not vice versa!!

Coco, and Lou, I love you both, to the moon and back. I wish you both nothing but huge academic success, wonderful friends, to push you in a positive way, and, to while away the time with, and teachers to enjoy learning from. May all of these things come true over this academic year!

Originally Written 5Aug15


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