Ever find yourself somewhere you never expected? Have you ever paused and thought in your head, or, said out loud even, “What the hell am I doing!?” “How did I get here!?” “What am I going to do to change it!?”
I think all of us have felt this way at one time or another. My, “What the hell am I doing!?“, moment came almost a year ago. Well, actually, the thought occurred to me many, many times over the course of a year to a year and a half time frame. The difference is, this time, last year, I was finally ready to do something about it.
The journey of life can be difficult. I will even go out on a limb and say it IS difficult. For all of us, in one way, or another, at some point, in all of our lives. Sometimes, it is multiple points. Not just one.
I’ve discovered, unfortunately, it is not enough to think to yourself, “What the hell!?” Thoughts, they stay in your brain. If you are anything like me, they swirl, round, and round, and round, till, many times, you can find yourself dizzy! I am trying to be funny, yet, it is also true. At least in my circumstance. I tend to live in my head, often. In reading what I write you may just figure this out for yourself.
Thoughts are just those. They occur in your mind. They can help spur action; however, action, doing something, that is what changes things. I cannot tell you how many times, over that year and a half, that I questioned myself. How many times I was disappointed in myself. Perhaps embarrassed. Often angry with myself. And I thought, to myself, then make a change. Change it. But, I didn’t. I will say, there was more at play than simply my wishes and desires. Yet, it doesn’t matter. Not really. I have to be accountable. I must take responsibility for my decisions and my actions. The thoughts occurred, however, my actions remained the same, so, nothing changed.
In two days, on August 15th, it will be a year that my thoughts became actions. One day before my birthday. That was the day I decided to take action. Taking action, rather than simply living in my head. It felt good. Oh, who am I kidding, it felt wonderful. Amazing. Freeing, beyond all belief. I could look at myself in the mirror again and recognize the person looking back at me. Action, changing my life, changing my decisions, no longer simply thinking, “What the hell am I doing!?“, that was my birthday gift, to myself.
I have had a rough two to two and a half years. I’d like to tell you that taking the action made everything immensely improved, immediately. However, I cannot tell you that. In my heart, yes. In my life, no. That’s the other thing. Our decisions, they have ramifications. Taking action was the best thing I could do. And, yet, I still live with my choices, everyday. I’d like to think, that one day, I will be free. That my previous choices won’t haunt me. That one day, all that will matter is the choice that I made, and the action that I took, on that 15th day of August.
Find yourself, like me, somewhere you never expected, wanting a change, needing to make a change?! Then, get out of your head, and, take action. Thinking is great, and, can help. But, it can only get you so far. Doing is where the transformation takes place. Freedom Comes In the Doing. Stop thinking, “What the hell am I doing!?“, and take action!
Originally Written 13Aug15