I’ve been offered another opportunity.
Someone I met through my job needs writers for a website. The job title is a Copy Writer. I would write, or fix writing, for web pages. It would be related to best practices for SEO’s (Search Engine Optimization). Any chance I sound like I know what I’m talking about? As here is the thing, I don’t. And, well, that not knowing, it scares me. Scares my pants right off of me.
Let’s be honest….I like to write, yet, what I write about is what I know. Most often, what I write about are the intimate facets of my life. Bare my soul, for all who are crazy enough to have interest to read along. Tell your deep, dark secrets to strangers. OK, perhaps that is a little dramatic! Seriously though, we are all strangers. You all are people who, other than what I choose to share with you, really have no idea who I am. And that fact, right there, is part of what is so interesting. We all have a story, a journey, something to say. Really there isn’t anything special about my journey. Other than it is my own, and what is closest to my heart.
I share my journey. I write about my life. My inner most thoughts, dreams, passions, fears, demons, failures, achievements, heartaches. Yet, does that make me a writer? Do these facts alone provide me with the ability to think that I can write about other topics? That I could write something that would be of value on a website? Something worthy of earning money?
As I sit here, pondering those questions, in my head I also find myself asking another important question. Do I want to? Do I want to take away from the things I enjoy in my life to write articles based on fact. Based on research. Is this how I wish to spend my time? Do I find value in it?
I’ve decided that I wish to spend my life in things of which I find value. Taking on this new job has shown me that I only have so many hours in every day. I know, this is probably a realization I should have come to a long time ago. How do I wish to spend my time? Researching topics that I care very little about, simply in the name of….what? A paycheck? Something more to put on my resume? Perhaps the opportunity for more out of life?
Another question for me to answer as I work towards the other answers…..what drives me? When I figure that out is writing for a website part of that driving force? I am done wasting my time and energy on things that don’t matter. I am done feeling taken advantage of by people who, quite frankly, don’t find me as important as I find them. What do I want out of life? My life?
I think I kind of know….
I want to be loved. To feel it, and to know it.
I want to be accepted. For just who I am and how I am.
I want to feel secure. In my feelings. In my thoughts. In my financial aspect of life.
I want to be a good mom. The mom my children know they can always count on.
I want to feel worthwhile. That I contribute to life in a way that matters. (I am still figuring out what this looks like, to me.)
I can’t imagine these to be the only things I want out of my life. These simply seem to be the first ones that popped into my head and made it on the short list.
Another opportunity. Along with it comes a decision. Which one am I supposed to make?
Originally Written 14Oct15