Flower, Butterflies, Rainbows, & All Things Fluffy

I see the cup as half full.  Actually, usually, 3/4 full.  I believe in good.  That it conquers all.  Perhaps I live in a fairy tale world.  Where it is all Flowers, and Butterflies, and Rainbows, and All Things Fluffy.  Last Tuesday, Lou and I, we played a make believe game.  She was Princess of Fluffiness.  Her idea.  Wrapped in a blanket.  Carrying around pillows.  Conquering the bad guys.  Coming out on top.

Is wanting to be Princess of Fluffiness good?  Am I raising her to see the cup the same way?  Am I doing her a service, or a disservice?

I would much prefer to be an upbeat, positive, encouraging, love the world kind of person.  See the best in others.  Believe everything will turn out for the best.  But what happens when things just simply do not go that way?  Then what?

I’ve lived through difficult times.  It isn’t that I’ve been sheltered my entire life, and, as a result, I see the cup as 3/4 full because I haven’t experienced the bad.  Each time the bad happens, I live through it, and come out on the other side, once again believing that all is good, and fine, and happy.

Here is the thing though….when the bad happens, I think it is more of a shock to my system.  As my heart only believes in the good.  I don’t sit around thinking, What If, and the What If being bad.

Sometimes I think my mentality on only seeing good is part of my coping mechanism of being an ostrich. It is much easier to be an ostrich if you only believe in the good.  When the bad comes along, simply stick your head in the ground and wait for the bad to go away. Disappear. Evaporate into thin air.  But what about when you cannot wait out the bad? When no matter how far you ostrich, or how long you ostrich, the bad is still waiting on you, when you finally allow your head to peek above ground.

I question if I am doing a good job.  Since Lou, my daughter, wishes to be Princess of Fluffiness.  You know, life is hard enough.  It throws shitty things our way.  Forces us to walk through and experience things we never expected, nor wished to.  Starting off wearing rose colored glasses, seeing the world as all Flowers, and Butterflies, and Rainbows, and All Things Fluffy….perhaps it isn’t all bad.  Perhaps, starting off with the glass 3/4 full allows for a different level of coping than to start with the cup 1/2 empty.

I don’t know. I just don’t know.  If my philosophy on life creates good, and helps me to better cope with this world. Or, if I’ve created this false sense of security that doesn’t really exist.  Flowers, and Butterflies, and Rainbows, and all things Fluffy….am I living real life or living a fairytale….

Originally Written 21Feb16


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