My little girl is off in surgery. For something minor, tonsils, adenoids, turbinates. Yet, it doesn’t matter, that it’s minor. Not in this mother’s heart. She is my tiny, eight year old little girl who just went to sleep with cotton candy gas. The anesthesiologist told her he was taking her to space. I watched as she breathed deeply, staring into my eyes, holding my hand, looking to me for reassurance. When, honestly, all I wished to do was cry.
Lou is strong, and brave. I think I’ve always known it. Think I first discovered it when she was in utero. When they said that I could lose her, during my second trimester, and instead she held on. One more day and I would have never known this beautiful light in my life, and yet here she is.
It was further confirmed when it was time for her to be born and she waited two more days and refused to make her arrival. No medicines or prodding was going to make her come out any sooner than she was ready. All on her own time. Along with the strong comes strong-willed.
Now here we are today. Tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, turbinate reduction, and now, just two minutes ago, out comes the nurse asking if they can cut her frenulum in her mouth. “Pain would not increase largely,” she said. “Doing the procedure now eliminates the need to come back and do surgery again later. Put her under yet once again.” OK, let’s put her through yet another procedure.
As she breathed in the medicine the Dr’s and nurses were all impressed. Said rarely have they ever seen a braver child. That is my Lou. Strong and brave.
From where did she possibly get these traits? As I must admit that as I sit here, thinking to all the parents in this world, who, at this very moment, are experiencing so much worse, I realize I have it not so bad. Yet, I want to break down. I want to cry and I want to be in the room, watching, holding her hand, even if she has no idea I am there. Verifying for myself that she is OK and will come out of this thing perfectly fine.
Every person who rounds the corner, your eyes pop up. Wondering if it is for you. An update. On your child. Whether strong and brave or not.
Surgery today brought along with it increased risk. Of course she would be sick. Respiratory cold which can increase the risk of the general anesthesia. The Dr’s assured us she will be fine. Yet they have no crystal ball. I find myself clinging to God. Having Him help to see me through.
My mind continually asking Him to please keep my strong and brave little girl in the palm of His hands. To remind her, if needed, how very strong and brave she is, and for Him to bring her back to me.